It's Tuesday.

Today is Tuesday which is my day of focus.  And sometimes I actually do it.  :)

Many years ago before I began full time work, I attended a bible study Tuesday mornings with some amazing ladies which was absolutely life changing for me. 

When I began working full time, Tuesdays became the day where I would go on dates with Jesus on my lunch hour.  I'll be honest, that has been my intentions for the last few years.  Sometimes I do well, and sometimes I am the biggest slacker.  Lunch with Jesus includes me, my bible, some great praise and worship, and a quiet place.  When I DO accomplish this, it's the most rejuvenating thing, and often concludes with some kind of major revelation.    

Tuesdays are also the day where friends and I EARNESTLY pray for our children.

Now, Tuesdays have even more meaning for me.  The WONDERFUL group of ladies, that I originally met with for bible study many years ago, have begun something called a "Prayer Drive".  They have gathered a group of people to commit to driving around the community to pray for the safety of our children and whatever else we want to pray for as we drive.  There has been so much death and pain in our children and we are taking a stand.  There will be someone praying for our community every day for 365 days and then the idea will be revisited.  So great!!  (If you want to join in, even from your home, message me on FB!!)

Today as I drove with the music of Sonicflood's song Psalm 91 cranked (which was so very meaningful to me while I was in the hospital), I was overwhelmed with so many thoughts that I believe were from God.  From shame for our selfish nation, to the outflowing of God's never ending grace and love.  God gave me a picture of angels standing on the street corners.  I felt such peace.  So great!! 

With me being away from work now for more than 6 weeks, I sure have had time to read my bible and pray.  And I will confess, I could be (and it would be wise for me) to spend even more time reading and praying rather than watching old reruns on Netflix.  That's the temptations of the world we live in huh?!!  :)  God is SO gracious.  I felt at first that I am not worthy to be a part of this prayer drive.  But I am reminded that all God needs is a willing heart, and His grace will cover the rest.  Wave after wave...His grace.  Wow!!

Slowly But Surely.

Well, I have decided that I am changing up my blog approach.  I am having a hard time sticking to JUST the surgery journey.  :) 

For those that have been asking about how eating is going, here's a little update on that:

Eating is going GREAT! After several weeks of being on ice chips, the hospital started me on puréed food. I quickly graduated to soft foods. So I am now sitting down at the table and eating 6 small REAL meals/day. I'm getting about 1000 calories/day and I'm meeting all the dieticians requirements. So that's great!!

Things did not start of great though.  After the surgery, it hurt to drink water.  And that is a really scary feeling.  But the reality is that when doctors are rearranging your stomach and intestines, a little pain would be the norm, huh?!!  :)  The eating part has been a battle all on it's own.  I am NEVER hungry, and I eat for nutrition now.  That sure is a switch up for me.  Some foods do not agree with me and it is always trial and error.  When I eat something that does not agree with me, there is a price to pay.  Simply, it's painful.  It has not been too terrible.  I have not experienced the "dumping syndrome" which I was warned about (and does NOT sound like very much fun AT ALL!).  I am sure that is because I have been following the rules of "no sugar, no white flour, no high fats". 

I've been feeling a lot better since I have been getting nutrition into my body.  I have not lost any weight in the 2 weeks since I have been home and I am TOTALLY ok with that because I lost way to quickly to start. 

I had several doctors appointments in the city on Friday. My hemoglobin is still low. And that's why I'm so tired. They explained it to me like this: When I got the 10 blood transfusions, they only gave me enough to live. Now my body has to take that blood and make it my own. My hemoglobin is now 105.  It's supposed to be 120-140. Basically I'm short about 20% blood in my body. So time and rest will fix this.
  
Last night was the first night I had a great sleep WITHOUT painkillers. Yay! Things are progressing!

My doctor said I'm like a baby right now. All I need is to eat and sleep. They will start me on a exercise program at the end of November. I go back to work in December.
 
Work has been very supportive and understanding!  I'm even getting hugs from upper management.  I love hugs. :) I thought that was pretty sweet.

My family, especially Shel, has been AMAZING!! So supportive! <3

Quick Update.

A lot of people have been asking how I've been doing.  I really appreciate the concern.  Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers.  I'm a very blessed lady!

The answer in a nutshell is:  I'm tired.  I REALLY can't handle a lot.  After a full day of sleep yesterday I decided to go buy some groceries.  After that, I was toast, and slept all night.  It's quite a change for me.  I'm used to a ton of coffee dates per week.  But I've had to say no to people because I just can't handle it right now.  I hate that part.  But I'm so exhausted, I'm just bad company anyway.

I went to see my family doctor today (I LOVE Dr. Besse!!), and she informed me that my hemoglobin is low therefore she will not let me go back to work for at least another 4 weeks.  I miss radio and I miss my coworkers so much.  And this is the busiest time of year.  I feel really bad.  At the same time I know I would be completely useless.

I just think back sometimes and can't believe this all happened.  It's ok though.  I've had several people come up to me and say "Hey Connie, maybe God's trying to get you to slow down and rest for a while, so REST!"  So, I'm resting.

I'm so thankful for my husband and kids.  I feel like we've all grown closer through this.  My husband shines like a bright star!! Man, he is SO good to me.  I'm his princess.  At least that's how he makes me feel!  :)

We have so much to thankful for.  I think of the Booy family saying goodbye to their son today.  And the girl my sons witnessed get hit by a truck a few weeks ago.  There's always something to be thankful for.  And there's always someone to pray for, have faith for, and hope for.

29 Days Post Op. Reflecting.

Receiving one of ten blood transfusions.

I just re-read my last few posts.   Not too bad considering how much pain medication I was under the influence of.  :) Sorry about all the spelling mistakes!

I took a break from blogging for a while because I have really needed to focus on healing.

My husband brought me home from the hospital on Sept. 28.  On Oct. 4 I was re-admitted because of pain.  It turned out to be some kind of blockage in my gallbladder or liver.  While I was in the hospital, they had me fast for 6 of 8 days.  Just ice chips.  The obstruction subsided and I was allowed to come home on Friday in time for Thanksgiving weekend.

In total, with everything that went wrong, I fasted for 5 weeks.  I have lost 30 lbs (too fast!!) so far.

So for a few days now, I have been eating well (all things considered) and I have been steadily healing at home.  SLOW and steady.  I still have pain, I'm very limited in what I can do, and I still struggle to breathe normally after the collapsed lung shenanigans.



All hooked up and drugged up after
the second surgery.

I will not lie, this is he hardest thing I have ever gone through personally.  I am fighting to (and succeeding) at being thankful.  Some days are harder than others.  I consciously thank God out loud for the good things he has given me.  It seems to lessen the hardship.

I vaguely remember the Tuesday night that I fainted (after the first surgery) and the doctors buzzing around me to discover the internal bleeding.  I saw the looks of concern and worry in people's eyes that surrounded me.  Panic.  When they started speaking of multiple blood transfusions, EKG's, more surgery etc. all I remember is whispering over and over again "I release life into my body in Jesus name".  I just put my life into the hands of Jesus (with full intentions of living!!).

First time sitting up after collapsed
lungs.  Hard work!!

With everything happening so quickly at that time, I am so thankful that my deep consciousness had stored up the knowledge to breathe those words out loud.  One of my favorite verses in the bible is John 10:10.  Us folks who believe in Jesus need to fight for what God has provided for us.

When I lay in the hospital last week, all I knew is that my digestive system wasn't working.  The doc said I had a "blockage".  In my mind I fought thoughts of "what if I'll never be able to eat again" and "what if the doc messed up so bad that I'll have trouble for the rest of my life". 

I gained 30-40 lbs in fluids.
Fluids were pumped into my
body though IV in order to
clean my body out from the
internal bleeding.

Thankfully I had friends and family reminding me of God's promises.  "We have not because we ask not"...OK, God, please heal me.  "I have to come to give you life in the full"... OK, God, please give me life in the full.  I could go on forever about all the promises I was reminded of and how hard I had to fight to believe them. 

Friday my doc walked into my room and told me he was not going to do the MRI we were waiting for because all the blood tests showed that my body fixed itself.  I could pretend it's not God that fixed me, but I know it was.  Him and I have had some pretty sweet moments the last few weeks.  I give Him all the praise and thanks for healing me, getting me through this, and for what He will do in my future.  I look forward to a full strong life ahead!

MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF GRATEFULLNESS go out to the people who have encouraged and prayed for me.  To those that have remained positive through the scary times, THANK YOU.  To those that never gave up when it looked hopeless, I can't even express how much it means to me.  And to my God who comforted me beyond words during those long hospital nights, THANK YOU.  I have no words, but my heart bursts with thankfulness.