Vulnerability.

I haven't posted in a while.  I'm going to be honest and say it is because I have been struggling.

I read a very open and honest Facebook post the other day about a woman struggling with anxiety and so forth.  I give her credit.  I feel as though more of us need to be vulnerable and share about our struggles.  Pretending life is perfect does us no favours.

If you ever have an extra 20 min to spare, watch this.  It's good. 

2 Cor. 12:9

He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

For me, this weight loss is forcing me to deal with many "demons" (for lack of a better word).  The people that accept me, know me, and know my heart treat me the same.  But pretty much every one else, men and women, are treating me differently.  We are all human.  It happens.  I won't get into that too in depth but it is really forcing me to come to a whole new level of security.  I am trying, once again, to establish who I am and be happy with who I am on the inside so that the judgement of others does not affect my self worth.

I am a strong believer in God coming to the rescue in times of need and triumphing over every situation, but there will always be "situations".  We need not pretend life is hunky dory 24/7.  However, I also strongly believe that no matter what we are going through, we can enjoy life.  Yes, even through death, divorce, sickness, we have the power to be thankful and have a smile on our faces.  (I pick those things: death, divorce, sickness, because I know people in these situations that are going through heartbreak with joy.)  It is possible to enjoy every day despite circumstances.  BUT!! It is hard work!

I have been far from perfect in my lifetime (I think it's safe to say we all fall into that boat), but I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to you.  If I have ever treated you badly, I am sorry.  There was probably some deep underlying reason for it.  Maybe I wasn't wearing my glasses or contacts and I ignored you.  Maybe I was feeling insecure that day.  What I am trying to say is that I hope we can be gracious with each other.  I believe that love is always the answer.  I want to live in love.  Love is patient and love is kind.  It is my goal in life to master that.  I have a ways to go.  ;)