Hair today. Gone tomorrow.

I am 3 months post op!  I have lost weight so fast!  It has REALLY changed my life.

Let's start with the negative.  My hair. OK.  I'm working at turning this into a positive.

My hair has been falling out!  This is because of the trauma my body went through, in addition to the diet change and lack of nutrients while going through my ordeal in the hospital.  I was warned this might happen but was not prepared for what actually would happen.

Here's the story in pictures.

Me in December.  My hair began to fall out.

This began to happen every time I brushed my hair.  Sometimes it fell out in clumps.



Within 3 weeks my hair looked like this.  Bald spots and all.

So I went to my hairdresser and asked her to make my hair look nice. 
After 2 cuts (because it was falling out soooo fast) this is how it turned out.
 She did a great job considering what she had to work with.
I still put dark brown eye shadow on my scalp to hide the bald spots.

This has been a hard adjustment.  I used to have beautiful locks.  Gone in 3 weeks and will take 3 years to get back.  I'm trying to be thankful for a new start and fun changes.  It IS kinda fun to have short dark hair, but I miss my long hair like CRAZY!!  :)

In the end.  It's just hair!!

Let's talk about some good stuff!  I feel GREAT!!  I have lost almost 50 lbs.  I'm officially not "obese" anymore.  Words cannot express how good this feels.  I feel healthy.  My knees don't hurt anymore.  I am starting to have more energy.  I am exercising again.  People at work are calling me "skinny".  I find my kids staring at me to say "you just look so different".  It feels really good.

Let me take a moment now to be brutally honest!!

Quick weight loss messes with your mind.  I don't want to be negative.  I just want to be honest. 

We were told about this at the counselling leading up to the surgery. 

People are treating me differently.  I don't know whether I feel overweight or not.  According to my clothes I am shrinking.  If I look at my body I still feel obese.  If I feel my tummy or hips at night in my bed in the dark I feel tiny.  People see me and they just stare at me.  I'm not sure what they are thinking and I make up stories in my mind.  It's confusing and it is overwhelming. 

Another thing that we were warned about is other addictions taking over from food addiction.  We were warned of alcohol.  I had a drink on New Years Eve.  Turns out (and I was warned about this) that it takes a VERY small amount of alcohol for me to be intoxicated.  WOW!!  And the horrible thing about it is it feels great.  Why?  Because the alcohol numbs my stomach and intestines and all the little bits and pieces in my body that hurt when I get tired.  I had literally 2 ounces of alcohol again the other day and again, hooped!!  (And I get a tad crazy when I drink so NO MORE!!)  That is just something I have quickly learned that I cannot do anymore.  It scares me.

So, I am still losing weight, and still dealing with the changes.  I really want to do this in a healthy way.  Honestly, I don't feel like I have a total grasp on this.  I feel as though I could do it better.  This past week I was back at work full time and it has been so busy. 

My faith:  I'm going to continue with this whole vulnerability thing.  I have been doing terrible, as of late, at doing the things that I believe are important to do.  Read my bible, pray, praise.  Those things are the meat and potatoes of my life.  I'm going through a rough patch.  I will ask you prayer-peeps out there to pray for me in that area if you could.  My belief is... God first, and blessing follows.  When the branch is cut off of the vine it shrivels up and withers away.  I feel as though as I am missing some of that "life" right now as I deal with all these changes.  Thank you in advance.

I'm super grateful for the love and support through all of this.  God bless you!!