Post Op - Surgery #3

Life comes with lessons to make us stronger.

God teaches us stuff.  Stuff like He is in control and more importantly WE ARE NOT.  And stuff like people won't always get you OR what you are going through and THAT IS OK (because He is in control).  Stuff like He's on our side.  And stuff like "God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love him" - Romans 8:28.

Surgery update:  While inside me to repair multiple hernias, doctors discovered that my intestines had grown to my abdominal wall.  They had to dissect them away and place a mesh in between.  I thought my hospital stay would be 0-1 night, but I stayed for 3.  I thought my time away from work was going to be 3 weeks, but in the end it will be 7.

My new puppy (Lola) has been keeping
me company while on medical leave. <3

CONSIDER IT PURE JOY, my brothers and sisters when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete , not lacking anything.  - James 1:2-4

I'll take one order of PURE JOY please!  I will admit, I have been lacking in the joy department. 

Caught off guard!! I was expecting this surgery to be a walk in the park,  Well, I still can't walk properly.  :)  There has been a lot of pain.  More than I had anticipated.  I have been in and out of ER for pain control as my intestines struggle to heal.

I'm still not able to swim, but SO thankful to spend time in this
place hanging out with my kids and enjoying the sun!!

And the people respond!  There are people that have been wildly compassionate (like, bring me to tears supportive!!!) and then wildly heartless (I have not done well with that!!  Just sayin'.).  But just as I am, humans are human.  Still, I sometimes think a hurting heart is more painful than physical pain.  (One day I'm going to ask God how that works!!)  I would prefer no pain.  :)

Guilt?  Yes, unfortunately. I have dealt with extreme guilt on missing more work and my mind has been racing about the reaction of my amazing coworkers that are pulling extra shifts because of my absence.  And then God said "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ" - Romans 8:1.  If only I could get that into my heart!!

So, time to find that JOY God is talking about!

My deck is my healing place.  

This last year has been so full of trials.  I basically fell into a minor depression since this last surgery.  This time around I have been selfish and losing perspective.  I have been fearful, and I strongly believe fear is the opposite of faith.

A place of fear is NOT where I want to be!

So today I choose thankfulness!!  I thank God for growth!  I am so thankful that I have gotten to know Him better.  I'm thankful for learning about humility and the importance of it, and I want to learn more.  I am thankful to have learned that I have so much more healing to do in my heart, and that the more I heal, the more I will be able to share the love of God.  I'm thankful that I've learned that I have a long way to go, but I can enjoy myself where I am today.  I am thankful ALWAYS for God's grace and mercy!  

And I choose faith.  He's got this!!

(I still get asked the question "Do you regret having the surgery back in Sept?"  The answer is still "no regrets".  Why?  Because what happened to me is rare.  And the life lessons I've learned through this was worth every trial!!)